


Unspoken

by seldomabsent



Category: Doctor Sleep (2019)
Genre: F/M, Female Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seldomabsent/pseuds/seldomabsent
Summary: You always kept your mouth shut, diving into feeling rather than talking but as Dan seems out of reach, you finally call to him.
Relationships: Dan Torrance/Reader
Kudos: 9





	Unspoken

"Why do we have this?" You whispered, sitting on the bed of the room Dan and you rented. You were so angry tears pooled up in your eyes. "Why do we have something we can't even use it for good?"

Dan stopped at the bathroom door, lost and confused. Dropping the hand holding your head, you looked up at him. His hair was a mess, and his beard truly needed a shave. It made you think about how you first met.

You messily passed the door of your apartment that night, and you were ashamed to say it wasn't the first time it happened this week. Was it the fourth? Maybe the fifth? You lost count. Yet the man's lips on yours felt different. You barely acknowledged his name as Dan and you were far too drunk to care of his last name or even coherent to wonder if that meant something you too kept meeting each other. What you felt was that you needed him. Needed oddly more than just physical touch. Which was stupid, you met not three hours ago, yet the yearning was strong.

You only decided to get your mind drowning in cheap beer and vodka shots because your head had become too much. These visions and things you saw, heard and sometimes could do ever since you were a child had been harder and harder to contain or ignore. Your parents took the habit to do so, and so you guessed it was the best thing to do indeed. Ignore it, and with a little alcohol, it will do the trick.

The beautiful blue of his eyes looking as lost of yours were just a matter of circumstances, you told yourself. Getting him to follow you and riding him till you both passed out was not predicted but it did the trick to think even less of the weird sparks you felt or the connection which seemed to link you. You just ignore it. It wouldn't be after years that you'd discover your shining got strong enough to poke at Dan's, which poked in return. You didn't know, and that night, all you did was ignore it, put your lips against his and wrecking yourself out of this reality.

You ignored the weird images you'd see or that odd presence you'd feel in the back of your mind even after you passed out next to his naked body.

It was probably a miracle when you met back in Frazier to have recognized him with his clothes on and a clean face. He was oddly waiting for you on a bench in front of the bus you dropped off. Somehow, he just knew you would - just as you knew you had to take that bus. All this life thinking you were crazy, that you couldn't actually talk inside people's mind, or see whatever they hide behind lies and secrets, or move things without touching them, hell, feel things and people who were never there - you just were crazy, and yet, a soft smile turned his lips up and you felt a shaky breath pass yours.

It took him a long time to explain to you about the Shining and its effects, that all that happened ever since you were a kid was real, that you were never crazy or sick. You were normal, just with a little bonus. A shining bonus. You never dared to ask him, but you guess this common gift was what you both attract to each other in the first place.

He tried to train you to control your Shining and even tried to teach you some tricks, but you were far too scared to continue when you fell in some of his memories. If those were memories or just some nightmares, the sheer terror and agony you felt from them prevented you to want to look again. He probably didn't felt your intrusion but even if so, he didn't say anything. Maybe he too didn't want this gift? You couldn't blame him. Your initial meeting was the cause of this gift - you both wanted a way out. If working yourself out never did the trick, you hoped he found himself a way out of it.

His friend Billy had been a real help through this working out part. He gave you another job at the clinic and from time to time, you'd meet with Dan. Exchanging a thought here and there. It was light, enough for you to practise and keep control somehow. Dan often stared too long at you, leaving this presence in his mind before his eyes filling with sorrow and he left. You never dare to ask him about it - like many things. You wish your relationship could be easier but with Dan, you.. Felt. You didn't talk, never with words really.

Back then, you'd fuck all night - begging for something else than self-loathing and arid visions. Now.. It was different. You weren't strangers anymore and you couldn't say if you were friends. Were you? You couldn't dare to ask. So along with the many unsaid, you pushed it all under the let's-never-talk-about-it carpet in your mind, nodded and followed on your day.

It wouldn't be after another long time that you would understand having visions of people weren't normal until you admitted to Dan you saw children getting kidnapped and murdered. Maybe he didn't believe you, or didn't dare to do so - but as in a middle of the night of his little room, he woke up to your deafening screams, his jump out of his bed to your makeshift one before hurriedly stopping at your still asleep but shaking body. It didn't take more than his kindness to want to comfort you by holding you to throw him along the ride of the horrific nightmare you, and another little girl far far away were living. It left you all shaking and panting and without wanting for a second, you demanded answers. Sadly, if he had any, he never told them. It took the sudden apparition of a little girl to make plans to stop it.

You were surprised to meet Abra as she appeared out of the same bus you did weeks again but just like Dan felt, you found yourself waiting for you. It was stupid but your protective instinct took over quickly. She was just a child, and if she indeed saw the last kid's last moment, you wished she never had this gift at all. No one should have to go through this, and it made you angry not to be able to do anything about it. What a stupid gift if it were useless to preventing her fear or the horrors of life, you thought upset. And in your anger, Dan seemed to be the only one to notice Abra visibly relax suddenly. If you turned around, you would probably notice his glances but your brain trying to think of solutions to prevent another child's murder were too much on your mind.

The trip to the kid's death grave had been a journey, much more than telling Billy about your powers. You didn't like Dan's implications that you knew best about what was happening -cause clearly, you didn't- but you found yourself indeed knowing answers you didn't know you had. It confused you, but like everything, it went under the carpet of let's-not-talk-about-it. But after the events fell one by one, the cult trapping you, Billy's death, Abra's abduction, it left you in a deploring state of anger and resentment.

And so here you stood, calmly watching the girl sleep. You couldn't leave her side, you were far too scared she would disappear again. Still, a little voice in the back of your head nagged that if her own father couldn't do it, you were stupid to think you would make a difference - you who had all the questions and no answers.

Dan had left the bathroom door to kneel in front of you. The towel dropped from his head and without a word, he lifted his hands to hold yours. Sudden calm washed over you, a distinct warmth you only felt when he touched you passing through your skin. You felt the now-familiar presence in your mind, like a soothing warmth helping you relax and without noticing, your forehead fell on his. You didn't know how long you stayed like this or when you fell asleep, but when you opened your eyes again, you were in the car's passenger seat. A sudden glance around you and you calmed at Abra's sleeping form on the backseat. Dan's warm jacket was draped on you and you felt all the calmer. He was driving, one would mistake his calm for restfulness but the frown in his eyebrows and the tapping finger on his lips told you more.

Glancing outside, you frowned too at the snowy mountains. Familiarity tickled in the back of your mind before you could dither where it came from.

"You're awake!" He said a little surprised, bringing your eyes back in his.

"I am," You smiled softly before turning back to the sight. "Is that.."

"Yes," He answered right away. His usual shy smile had been left for an anxious straight line. "The Overlook."

The word shocked you into the images you saw so long ago in his mind. Miming his expression, you took a deep breath. You stayed silent for a while before nodding and laying back in your seat.

"So what's the plan?" He kept quiet for a moment, thinking.

"It's the most dangerous for people like us. Like you," He added, attracting once more your surprised eyes. "I don't think you understand how strong you are, Y/N."

You almost snorted, hold back only by your fear to wake Abra up.

"Right," You shook your head. "So strong I didn't do shit ever since we started this."

"You're wrong," He sighed, the snow starting to make the road difficult. "I've never since someone so.."

You turned to him when he never finished his sentence. His eyes were focused on the road ahead and he clearly was trying to think of a way to escape whatever he almost said. Disappointment laid heavy on your heart but you nodded along with his silence.

"Is that it?" You asked, the shadow of a great building appearing ahead.

"It is." His voice was quiet, making you worry about whatever was ahead.

Once the car stopped in front of the door, the silence was heavy. You looked at the dark hotel and the terrible sense of dread, death and terror you felt in Dan's memories crawled in front of you. It was dying, you found yourself thinking. It was starving. Taking a deep breath, you tried not to think about the meal you were, about to jump in its mouth. Dan was looking dreadful, his eyes filled with terror as they were locked on the Overlook. You noticed his hands were slightly shaking under the wheel and it took everything from you not to hold them. He had been the first to get you out of the shell you put yourself in, too scared and confused about your gift to try to make anything. He was the one who got you literally out of the shitty life you were in - calling your shine until you finally took a step into Frazier. You felt your heart swell at your continuous thoughts. You knew that feeling trying to hide around. A feeling you felt too often but never got closed enough to identify. Love.

"Hey, Danny, before we die," You smiled to him as he turned to you. "Thanks for making me live."

His eyes widened in shock but you quickly turned to Abra to wake her up, preventing him to say anything else.

It was painful to open the door and leave before Dan could say anything to you. Still, you keep your smile and your head high as you helped Abra out, unconsciously checking for her coat to be closed all the way and asking if she weren't too cold. The plan was explained and with a shine of a light attracting your gaze, you knew Rose was on your toes. So you all turned and parted ways as you entered the growling building. You don't know how you managed to make it or how you managed to fuck it up for Dan to end up chased by Rose but you knew once she started climbing those stairs after him you had to do something.

Trying to get inside her mind surely wasn't the best idea but getting her after you did the trick. Power she wanted, power Dan said you had. And if she wanted her meal, she'll have to earn it. Running out of her way got more complicated than expected. The walls seemed to scream and every turn of corridors threatened to hit you alive. You were shaking and tired but you noticed after stopping to catch your breath, Rose was not after you anymore.

You breathed deeply, frowning as it were the only sound audible. Where did she go? Did Dan manage to release enough ghosts to get her? The thought brought a sudden heaviness to your heart. Or was he too scared and got eaten himself? Fear started to rush through you as your steps resonated slowly before getting hurried.

"Danny? Abra!?" You called for what felt the millionth time. "Where are y-" Your girl's scream made your heart missed a beat. "ABRA!"

Your feet took you running into a line of rooms. Glancing at the numbers, you felt your pulse quicken.

230.. 231.. Why did these numbers felt so familiar? Your feet dragged you to the only opened door.

"237." You stared at the number, like a deer in headlights.

Horrible flashes of Dan's old memories rushed before your eyes and you jumped back. No, you had to make sure Abra was alright. She was a child, she couldn't do this alone. You had to at least try, for all the time you had no one to help you. Opening the door, you gasped at Dan's back.

"Danny?" You called softly. He seemed to twitch but kept his back turned on you. Carefully walking toward him, your shine grew more painful. Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong, but why? It was just Dan, and clearly, something was off, you had to help–

The scream that escaped you shocked you into falling. The axe he threw your way drew a long bloody line down your arm, soon flooding and threatening to make you scream even more at the pressure you brought to the deep cut. Dan's face was not his anymore. His blue eyes you loved so much, those in which you shared every feeling you had for him, were blank, devoided of any life. Where you would feel his shine and warmness, his kindness and gentle thoughts were now unbearable screams, pain and hunger. You couldn't discern how many spirits were trapped in him but they abused Dan's shine to share every fiber of fear and terror they had with you.

They were growling, making their puppet closing in on you, the indecipherable shouts coming from them claiming their hunger. It was crying that you escaped another axe throw by getting yourself back on your feet and stepping back to avoid any more.

"Dan, wake up! You're still there, you can fight them off, I know you can!" You begged but you quickly squatted to escape the axe getting stuck in the wall. Taking the opportunity, you forced yourself back up, cupping his cheeks. You felt the spirits right beneath your fingers, your Shine threatening to burn them all but you felt Dan in there too, small cowering Danny. You could felt how scared he was, so, so scared. He was hiding in the arms of a woman (was it is mom?) and he seemed to have decided to stay there until it was over, until it was too late. The memories you were so scared of seeing again flew in your mind along with new ones, cheerful and warm ones. It made you choke as you found yourself in most of them.

"Dan, I need you. Please, don't give in. You're stronger than this, Dan, you're so strong, stop belittling yourself. You're not your father, you're so much more! You're Dan Torrance, the man who got back on his feet by the strength of his will. You're the man helping people go to sleep. You're the man helping me, of all people, get back on her feet. You're the one saving a little girl from a life of terror. She needs you. I need you- Dan, you can't give in." You whispered now, holding your forehead to his, barely keeping him still in your shaky hold. "I'm nothing, it's okay if you let them take me. I just can't lose you, Dan. Please, I love you."

Your pleas seemed to through him, and in a last desperate attempt, you put your lips on his. It was one-sided and full of tears, the spirits rushing into you, filling you with terror, pain and insanity but you didn't care. If he helped you live, you didn't mind him helping you die. And with that thought, everything became black.

You didn't expect to wake up, yet warmth was filling you up. You felt so warm. As your mind slowly came back to you, you felt more. A hand on your cheek, an arm around your waist. Something wet was dropping in your hair. A familiar presence in the back of your mind, oddly moving desperately around. It was sad, grieving, mourning but kept searching through your mind. What was it looking for? Should you let it?

Opening your eyes was a mistake, bright flames devouring the sky blinded you right away, making you moan in discomfort – yet as you did, the hold on you got stronger. Someone was calling for you. Should you answer? You were feeling so numb, so tired. What a little longer would change? The nagging in the back of your mind got annoying, only easing as your eyes opened again. A form appeared instead of the flames. Brown messy locks, frowned eyebrows and two big blue crying eyes.

"Dan?" Your dry throat managed to whisper, earning a loud relief sob.

"Y/N, I'm right here! Oh God stay awake, please, don't you close your eyes again–" Your eyes had trouble focusing in the night but everything became clearer by each second. The flames were eating the last of the Overlook, firemen uselessly trying to put a stop to it. You seemed to be in an ambulance, Dan holding you against him on what felt like a bed. You tried to get up but only ended up wincing at your attempt. Suddenly, you were very aware of the very vivid pain in your arm and the hold Dan had on you became shakier. Your arm was wrapped in a white bandage but it clearly didn't do its work as a huge red line could be seen through it. "It's okay, I'm sorry, so, so sorry but look at me– look at me."

Doing as he asked, you looked up. He seemed to take you in as if seeing you for the first time in forever before a shaky breath passed his lips.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He whispered, more grateful to see you alive than angry. "You could have died doing something so–"

"But I didn't," You noted, a smile making its way on your lips. He stayed silent, stunned by your words before nodding slightly.

"You didn't," He repeated, holding you close before leaning his forehead on yours. The warmth washed over you once more but so did his lips falling on yours. "God, I'll never forgive myself.. How could you think you were– I'm not letting anything happen to you ever again. Do you hear me?"

And somewhere in the back of your mind, the presence felt more home than anything as his lips were rushed against yours.


End file.
